(Editor’s Note: Lulu is Cherokee Trail’s world famous spokesdog. She is an English Bulldog with the amazing ability to speak to humans. However, she has quite an overbite and tends to add extra syllables to her words. She also has poor grammar, can’t spell and uses quite a bit of slang. Nevertheless, she is quite extraordinary)!
Hey Friends! I’m sorry that I have been out of circumalation for a while, but us stars need some down time. I must admit that my absince involved a man. See, out in Hollywood, I met this tall, dark and handsome Labrador named Armani. We instantly fell madly in love and have been spending our days at my mansion in the Hollywood Hills. And as Salt -n-Peppa said, “What a man, what a man, what a mighty good man!” But then came the IN-CI-DENT…
One day, Armani and I were lounging by the pool and I began applying some fragrant sunscreen to protect myself from wrinkles. All of a sudden, Armani started making this honking noise and acting like he was dying. Due to my extensinative vetmernary knowledge, I instantly realized that Armani was just having a spasm, known as reverse sneezing. I quickly went to his side to try and calm him down by using a sweet, calming voice. Well, Armani began honking even more and began to panic. So then I began massaginating his throat. This didn’t help and Armani began flail all over the place. Next I tried covering his nostrils to make him swallow to clear out whatever was causing the reverse sneezing. Armani freaked even more and fell to the ground like he was dying. I tried one more proven man-uever. I depressed his tongue which opened up his mouth to help in moving air through the nasal passages. That did it. He stopped sneezing, but jumped up and accused ME of trying to kill him during his “respiramatory distressination.” I called him a drama king and then he called 911 and had me arrested. Can you believe that?
Well, I called Dr. Macaulay to come bail me out and to testimafy at my trial. The big day came and we were ready with my defense. Armani came in with a cone on his head and a oxygen mask. Can you say Puuuu-lease! Armani’s attorney told the court that Armani had suffered a serious respiramatory epimasode and that during that epimasode I assaulted Armani with intent to kill. He claimed my motive was to inherit Armani’s well-known clothing line. Hah! I’ve got my own fame and fortune! I don’t want nuttin to do wid his stupid ol clothes!
My attorney called Dr. Macaulay as an expert witness. Dr. Macaulay had examined Armani, who just happened to have another bout of reverse sneezing during her examination. She testimafied that there was no need for Armani to be wearing a cone and an oxygen mask. Dr. Macaulay explained that the most common cause of reverse sneezing is an irrimatation to the soft palate and/or throat that results in a spasm. During the spasm the dog will stand still, extend it’s neck and the chest will expand as the dog tries harder to inhale with rapid, long inhalations. The problem is that the trachea has narrowed and it’s harder to get air into the lungs. Dr. Macaulay stated that the spasm can last from several seconds or up to a minute and rarely requires treatment. She explained that the sneezing stops when the spasm is over.
Dr. Macaulay confirmed that my actions were not harmful and were all methods to try and stop the spasm. Including trying to calm the pet, massaginating the dog’s throat, covering the nostrils to make the dog swallow, and depressing the dog’s tongue to open the mouth to aid in moving air through the nasal passages. Dr. Macaulay concluded her testimony by stating that reverse sneezing is not a severe problem, causes no ill effects and the epimasodes tend to end on their own.
With that, the judge cleared me of all charges and ordered Armani to pay all attorney and expert witness fees and expenses. Dr. Macaulay and I took the long way home and stopped off in Aruba. While relaxing on the beach, Dr. Macaulay asked me to write a blog about my ordeal and give our clients more information about reverse sneezing. So here’s the rest of the scoop…
Anything that irritates the throat can cause reverse sneezing, including excitementation, eating or drinking, exermacise, pulling on a leash, pollen, foreign bodies, fragrances, household chemicals, allergies and post-nasal drip. Small dogs are more prone to reverse sneezing because they have smaller throats. And flat-faced breeds with e-long-ated soft palates occasionally suck the palate into their throat, causing reverse sneezing. If the episodes become frequent, your Cherokee Trail vetmernarian may need to exam your pet to rule out upper respiratory inbafections, collapsing trachea, or nasal tumors/polyps. Cats are less likely to have reverse sneezing and should always be examined to rule out feline asthma. The bottom line is some dogs have these episodes their entire lives, others develop the condition as they age, but for most dogs, it is a temporary problem that goes away on it’s on and leaves no after-effects.
Well, after my Hollywood episode, I plan to stay right here in Lexington with all you normal acting people. Besides, I missed ya’ll. Well, I gotta go. Some how I “acquired” a bunch of suits with “Armani” labels and I’m going to sell them at the flea market.
Until next time…